Smiles of Sunshine

I always try to be sunshine.

Happiness incarnate.

Funny and easygoing.

Helping my friends feel good.

Making sure nobody worries about me.

But sometimes I just want to escape it.

This suffocating life I've trapped myself in.

I can't be happy all the time.

And it's really hard to pretend sometimes.

So why do I?

Why do I fake smiles?

Why do just smile and laugh when I have something to say?

Why do I try so hard not to argue with my friends?

To always keep the peace?

And why do I have to be the happy one?

Why can't I just be real?

Is being real so hard?

Seems to me it is.

Being happy girl is easier.

A bit of sunshine goes a long way.

Tricks people into being happy themselves.

But in a good way, I mean.

I want everyone to be happy.

But why can't I be other things when I feel like it?

Why do I keep pretending?

Keep giving out sunshine?

Why can't I just be sad when I'm sad and happy when I actually am?

Why do I have to be sunshine all the time?