still a while to go

I was so quiet then, 

standing all alone against the concrete wall 

in ill fitting jeans

with an awkward bob made of my soft blonde hair. 

I listened instead of speaking

making sure my presence wasn't known

to anyone, 

whether they were kind

or wanted me gone. 

I was on the outside 

but I never wanted in. 

I paid my dues

stood in line for a lunch I wouldn't eat, 

sat alone and did homework 

because a good grade was a better friend than anyone else.

but that is no more. 

I don't know when it happened, 

but I began to speak. 

was reminded that sometimes, 

good people cared what I had to say. 

good people didn't want me to hide away. 

and I emerged out of the hobbit hole of my room, 

to see love of all kinds out there. 

beyond four years of high school,

and a bad grade here and there. 

the future is an open

cloudless sky

which fades to a deep rich twilight blue

filled with stars of possibility. 

because until you die

there is only life, 

and life

is meant to be lived.