I love this feeling.
The wind on my face,
The fire under my skin
Doused by the rain.
The ominous clouds overhead.
My natural state it what the storm is,
Right now.
It's just how I've always been.
And so when the sky reflects who I am
Like this
Like this storm
It feels amazing.
Like I am fully outside my head,
For once.
Like I can walk among the thunder
Jog with the steady downpour...
A brilliant storm,
But not the inescapable one in my body.
A storm that
Can free me.
You cared;
I tried to.
You did;
I thought I did.
I wanted so badly
to be a character in my books
and to feel longing
to feel needing
to feel love and to
be loved
The thing is,
I can't get over it.
It sticks in my memory
unforgettable
and I want it
but I know it was just
subconscious dreamland.
It was old
I dreamt
it was next year
everyone I loved was there
tall chairs
light work
not reality
everyone
perfect
I woke up and I felt his love
butterfly wings against my cheek
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