Stream of Consciousness (Jasmine)

Your hair is blond like the sun kissed your roots and long cause no one told you you could cut it

My hair is dark like I mixed every paint on my head and buzzed cause I was angry

But my boyfriend runs her fingers through it and says I'm the softest thing they ever touched

Your hair would be soft if any part of you was but you couldn't bear that could you

Could you even tolerate breathing deeply and not holding your breath like you just caught it and you'll never let it go again

You couldn't look me in the eye cause I am everything you wish for and nothing you want

You want me to pull you into my lap and hold you but you would hate it if I did cause it wouldn't mean what you want it to

You need it to mean you're perfect but all my arms can say is I love you and I'm so so sorry for what we did to us

I'm sorry they taught us what they taught us in every spoken and unspoken word

That we went unspoken for so long you forgot you could say something that meant anything

Dissect the world and its hatred like how you'd cut out your every organ if it meant they loved you

You work so hard to be loved and that's why you hate me cause I threw away your work

You survived so I could survive so someday we could live cause living is a harder path than dying but dying could never taste as sweet

You look like a sweet but if bitten you'd be bitterer than bitters bitterer than the Russian liquor we drank in a rush

You rush through life like you're trying to finish first you can't imagine a future cause you can't see a self

And yet the self is still and the future still is and we continue