This summer

I should be being

A teenager

Walking around

Biking the village with friends

Creemees

Candy

Joking

Laughing

Teasing

Farmers markets

Confessions

Crushes

Running around

Free

Enjoying my life

Right now

Instead I am

At home

In my room

Flipping through page after page

Of duet books

Solo books

Scales

Minors

Majors

Concert key

Transpositions

Old books

New ones

Printing out pieces

Sonatas

Working with Bach

So closely but not close enough

Not where I want to be yet

I will always be better

I can always get better

I will this summer

I promised myself I would

I will work

I will work long and hard

Productively

My life matters

I feel like I'm wasting it whenever I do anything that isn't this

Notes on a page

Some things that are beyond me

Google

Asking for help from

My "partner in flute"

Practicing over the summer is important

This summer is going to be essential

I will be successful

I will do this

I can do this

It is frustrating

Hard

All the long

Painful hours

Even though I don't need to

I know I could go the ten weeks without

Touching my instrument

As most kids do -

Work for the school year,

Over the summer we can forget about it,

Can't we?

Relax.

But my instrument is not a burden

And that would be torture

It would break my heart

And so I am working towards the only thing

I want to do with my life

The only thing

I love

I could be outside playing

Instead I am in here

With my instrument

My brain

And my heart

And somehow

I know this is where I prefer to be.