summer slump

For the first time in weeks, 

I have picked up a computer.

For the first time in weeks,

I have written words.

For the first time in weeks,

I have begun to climb out 

of the hole that is 

summer.

I love summer,

though,

at least I think I do.

It gives me a break,

it gives me time to recharge,

as a cat does in sun,

or as a cellphone might 

when about to die,

when about to lose all energy.

But now I find myself

in a slump,

in a useless,

lifeless form 

that reminds me of someone I have never 

known before,

someone who is not me.

Time has paused for me,

though the days still continue to pass.

Is summer meant to confuse me 

as it has this year?

Has it confused me like this

in the past?

Why am I so happy to have the limitless time

that I asked for hardly any weeks ago

while still I feel

like I am not even moving,

not even living on this earth?

How can one season 

seem as though it is two

completely different things?

Hopefully,

the sun will come out soon,

as it always does,

and give me the answers I need,

but until then,

I will continue to live amongst this slump,

trying to make peace with it

trying to make the most of these stressless days anyway.