I've been called the sun.
The idea is, the sun of the solar system.
The one my friends revolve around.
I did not give myself this title, nor do I want it.
I do not want to be the sun.
Maybe
I could learn to embrace it
With my circle
My sisterhood
Maybe I could learn that it doesn't just mean responsibility
But also me
I am a ball of fire
I know that
Maybe I could be the sun
The way I like it
And not the way they've all assigned to me
I showed my grandmother my keyboard
she took six years' of lessons when she was younger.
Her fingers found the keys -
she could still read -
just enough
just a little.
I pulled out my flute-piano duet book
You cared;
I tried to.
You did;
I thought I did.
I wanted so badly
to be a character in my books
and to feel longing
to feel needing
to feel love and to
be loved
The thing is,
I can't get over it.
It sticks in my memory
unforgettable
and I want it
but I know it was just
subconscious dreamland.
It was old
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