I've been called the sun.
The idea is, the sun of the solar system.
The one my friends revolve around.
I did not give myself this title, nor do I want it.
I do not want to be the sun.
Maybe
I could learn to embrace it
With my circle
My sisterhood
Maybe I could learn that it doesn't just mean responsibility
But also me
I am a ball of fire
I know that
Maybe I could be the sun
The way I like it
And not the way they've all assigned to me
Noise
Warming up
Keys
Fingerings
Chatter
Laughter
The chorale
Stopping
Starting
"Again"
"I know you can do better than that"
Serious but
You also love it
Cornered
I put my hands up
Like you taught me
Only now
You're the one attacking
"Helping" because
You "just want me to feel better"
And I braced for impact
I'm distracted.
Why did I let myself become so reliant
Dependent
So stupid
Ugh I'm so mad.
So mad.
I let myself become distracted by silly things I could want
I let myself want them
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