There are a lot of things I can't have:
You
Your love
Your care.
I shouldn't be allowed your smile
Or to ask you truth or dare.
I shouldn't be given your warmth
Or your adoration;
I can't be trusted with precious things
They're my annihilation.
I want you so badly
But I haven't earned you yet.
I did a lot of things
That maybe I regret.
I want to make it right
But every time I try
I only make it worse;
I have no alibi.
I step outside.
Haven’t been out here in a while;
I prefer the solitude of my room,
With my clutter and junk
Reminding me of this year
Who I am
What time of my life I’m in.
Outside,
It's a choice, every day.
It's a choice to love someone
To reach out your hand
To open your heart
And it's a choice to keep loving them
Through thick and thin.
It's a choice to stop.
I feel completely
Lost
Alone
By
Myself here.
No company
Could fix this.
Drowning in my own emotion,
Melting in the not-yet-summer heat.
I can't think straight,
Can't be
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