time

Time

/tīm/

noun

1. the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

my legs feel numb 

numb with the realization

that nothing, nothing will ever be the same as it was last year.

i mean, everything's so different

time feels like it's slipping through my fingers

one moment, it feels like sand,

the next it feels like sunlight.

disappearing slowly and then so quickly

he texted me

and he said "i can talk to people now, it doesn't feel so awkward."

little does he know that i liked him best when he was awkward.

that text hit me like a semi truck and now i can't breathe.

i feel a tear slip down my face and i can't help but wonder what life would be like

if nothing ever changed

i don't think i like change.

it's like i'm being attacked with a million needles of lost opportunities.

i could've, should've done so much.

and time passes especially quickly at night,

when i stay up to write.

one moment its 9:36 the next its 11:49

i think that the playlist of sad songs that I am playing isn't helping with this

but who knows.

it's so insane to me,

how life can feel so perfect and then it can all just disappear.

and people ask me why i'm so happy,

when my poems are so sad.

because there is always a sad side. not everything can be perfect all the time.

that's what i want to show you with these poems.

because i am so young,

yet i've felt like there isn't anything good left.

i have felt like the walls are closing in.

but somehow i still have enough energy to make sure the girl at school crying is okay.

i've felt the pain and happiness that love brings,

and i know what to look for now,

but i have also felt the downside of all of that:

heartbreak.

and i know how terrible it feels to feel alone.

and i want to make someone feel like there is someone there for them.

even if i don't get that credit,

at least they are happier.

there is so much i wish i had done earlier,

because highschool is so close,

and middle school was such a huge part of who i am

but i don't know who i am.

so someone please tell me who i am 

before that damned time takes it all away.

the tears are falling harder now and i can't breathe and

the change is a pain I won't ever conquer.

they say i'm so strong 

and maybe i am

but right now,

my sky is falling back on my shoulders

and the past is hitting me a little harder now.

like it wants to be heard,

and damn you.

I HEAR YOU, TIME.

I KNOW THAT THERE ISN'T MUCH LEFT, BUT WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SLOW DOWN!!!

please...