trying to find me

the light fades
the darkness spreading across my palm 
engulfing my outstreched arm 
the shadows rise 
and down I fall
my body curling
and aching
into a scared little ball
the fingers 
of my hands
diging into my arms
clawing at myself
anger stirs inside my chest
as tears stream down 
I pick myself up 
and cuss at the world
I hate how I'm feeling
I know it's not right
but I can't help but feel
that it's not a fair fight
trying to find who I am 
in a world where everyone
has allready decided 
I feel like I've been put in a mold
but it doesnt quite fit 
and I'm trying 
but I'm scared to come out of it
I'm pushing and fighting
but inside 
I'm crying 
I don't understand 
why am I this way?
why can't I make sense
of all these things 
that I feel in my chest?