tug of war

It's a long, thin and twisted, smooth rope,

One I could wrap around the skin on my wrists,

And keep myself tied to one place.

Because when I'm with you, I'm free,

Chasing the world without a finish line

With no strings keeping me back. 

But the words left unsaid have been sewn

Tight, and I'm tugging at one end of the rope,

Knowing you'll win this war over and over.

It feels like your pulling me towards 

Your every single move, and I can't

Resist, because how could I resist you?

There's nothing to say, you whisper,

I can feel your voice like an itch on the back of my neck,

And like a stone in my stomach. 

My breath's not evening, and my heart won't stop

And it's just quiet and quiet—you're waiting—

But I won't give in, not yet, I can't.

The words will just spill over my mouth

Like I'm drowning in oxygen, and the tears

Will flow like I'm gasping for air. 

And yet, there's a million things to say

That are spoken in this silence,

Until I lose this inevitable fight

And the rope frays 'till it breaks.