unkept (wo)man

subjugated to solitude eternal,

only perceiving and watching love,

maybe receiving it but never understanding it

never internalizing it

it bounces off. Doesn't stick,

unkept and unruly and unclean.

formulaic loneliness, like it was planned and chosen 

some plan this is,

going out alone, and eating alone, and sleeping alone

wandering around alone, getting lost alone, pondering alone

some plan this is,

to be so enamored by what could be

maybe if she wanted it enough,

maybe if she cared enough to be kept.