what I want

everyone says I'm so nice
and happy
and amazing 

but I don't feel those things 
most of the time 
I feel like I'm living a lie

made of fake smiles
false care 
and petty untruths said to makes others happy

inside 
I just want three things,

I want to feel cared for.

I want a friend who actually gives a damn about spending time with me
a partner who returns my affections
a mother who has more time for her first born 
and a father who can be home more to see his children grow up.

I want to feel seen.

not just as the "quiet" kid
or the "teacher's pet"
the "responsible one"

I have a different side 
a side nobody cares to look for
a side
that jumps out of airplanes 
picks dare every time
laughs and doesn't care who listens 
dances and doesn't care who sees 
lives and doesn't care who tells me I can't 

I want to feel safe.

I want to the world to find peace with itself
to remove the plastic choking it's ocean 
to breathe a healthy ballance of oxygen 
to look at it's people and tell them 
just how devastating their ignorance is 
just how catastrophic their pointless violence is
and just how quickly
they've caused their own downfall.