What now?

I like auditioning. I like it because it makes me feel special - I like the anticipation, walking in that room, and just getting to play what you've practiced. It's predictable. 

I've been here before

I know this feeling

the impending sense of

happening.

It's going to happen

it's inevitable

is this a mistake?

I will back off so fast if you tell me you don't want it.

I don't know you

I want to

but not yet.

I know you are more useful to me as a faraway rival

of extraordinary difficulty

than as a friend right now

I also know I won't have a choice next year.