when am i going to change

I go to therapy and dish it all out

Everything that's too personal to tell my sister,

Everything that's too serious to tell my Mother,

I dish it all out

I know how I feel, I can hear the theme song of the day's thoughts humming aggressively in the back of my head

threatening to take me out of the moment

she looks at me in the mirror

in limbo, i don't quite know what or who I even am

what does being a person mean? What does it mean to me?

I have to many opinions and thoughts about the things I have no opinions and thoughts about

I used to curse myself for not knowing all and not being complete when I was 9

I don't feel like crying, but the realization hits me

there are infinite ways to go about becoming a whole person

but each will take a life time