when i am asked what i am grateful for

i always feel pressured into

being grateful for the biggest things i can

which to me always sounds like i'm shouting for forgiveness

instead of gratitude. i never get to say i'm grateful

for all the littlest things i can

so here you are -- forgiveness in the form of gratitude.

YES, I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY SAFETY.

yes, i am grateful for being able to bike as far as i want

without having to worry about getting lost 

or getting hurt, for four walls and a door and a lock 

when all i want is myself, for being able to paint my cheeks for pride

and only have to listen to stares.

YES, I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS.

yes, i am grateful for books on my birthday and candy in exchange for

homemade bread, for someone to know all my secrets,

for a hand when i need it and a hug when i don't

feel like facing the world anymore.

YES, I AM GRATEFUL FOR FOOD.

yes, i am grateful for warm toast to go in the mornings when i

forget the bus is coming, for orange juice with coffee yogurt

when the grandparents are coming, for slightly warm pink lemonade in June and

buttered pasta in your room while we finish the paintings.

yes i am grateful for the world

and all the burdens i am able to carry

but really i want to scribble in the margins on the goal sheets we are given

and be grateful for dust instead of heaven.