why

I don't have a favorite word, 

And I used to think I liked them all. 

But my whole body starts to fall, 

At the small whisper of why. 

Why are you crying?

Why do you hide?

Why do you lie?

Why, why, why. 

Every time that words explodes my mind, 

My whole body freezes up. 

And you say you've had enough, 

But so have I; I'm drowning. 

Last night, I actually smiled, 

It actually felt like he cared. 

He didn't make my life a nightmare, 

And sure what he said was hard; but it was easier. 

Easier than why, 

Easier than panicking behind open doors. 

Easier than crying on the floor, 

Easier than a simple minor chord. 

I can't find my voice, 

All the words are screams on the inside. 

I can't look into your eyes, 

And I'm feeling guiltier. 

Why, why, why, 

I hear that all the time. 

I don't know why I hide, 

I just want to be alone. 

It wasn't even two seconds after I woke, 

Before I even changed my clothes. 

You asked me why, a million times, 

And each time it makes me not want to try.