You are a liar and a brick

You are a liar and a brick

And you only care what your friends think.

Who are you?

Did you never stop to consider it was my first time, too?

And I’m not the only one who messed up?

That I was fine until you had to go and LIE to her?

And I know you’re lying because you still look at me like that

And do you know I hate it

And would you please STOP?

I’m tired

Of being in this group of people.

I’m so tired!

And I wanted to be friends and to

To be nice and

And to be cool and chill and we could get along again

Because I want to value you

Your company

I want to value everyone

I want to be nice

I want to be good in this place

This horrible place

But I think at night

Long and hard

I think about everything and the world is huge and when I

When I step outside of my comfort zone

Outside of fast-paced up-and-down sixteenth-note crazy bumblebee

I don’t

Know.

I don’t know.

And you’re a liar and a brick

A brick because you don’t care

You act like you don’t

And I am the only one you ever did

Care for

AND YOU’RE PRETENDING LIKE IT WAS ALL A LIE

AND SAYING YOU DIDN’T MEAN IT

And it’s dragging me back back back

When I need to be going forward forward forward at the speed of LIGHT so people take me seriously

I need to be moving so far ahead right now

And I’m being dragged back

And this year

Is going to pull me back like mud

And I can feel it already

And I need to go faster

I need to be working hard and moving up and

And getting there

To where I need to be

AND YOU’RE MAKING IT REALLY HARD

And I don’t want to be involved but I don’t have a choice!

And maybe this is all messy ranting but who cares about me?

Who cares about me when I have to care about all of you?

Who cares that I found something real to love and care about and nurture while you’re all off chasing silly crushes and daydreams and hobbies -

Who cares that I’m working on my future?
Do any of you?

You are a liar and a brick

But I wish you weren’t.

I wish we could all be friends and it wouldn’t be so time-consuming.

I wish I didn’t feel so old all the time

I wish I wasn’t the oldest all the time

I wish I could be immature and petty

I can’t

I have an agenda and a life and I want you out of it but you’ll always sneak in around the edges,

Won’t you.

I have a passion

And I have a love

Brighter than fire

Can you say the same

Or are you another liar

Another brick

Another nobody I can’t get rid of?