You could, but you don't

All I want is you,

I try,

I try to talk to you,

spend time with you,

but it just annoys you,

I don't know what to do anymore.

 

I text you,

you ask 'what do you want?'

I fight with myself not to just say 'you,'

instead I say 'never mind,'

and leave you alone.

 

I invite you to do anything I think you would come to,

any,

possible,

thing,

and you never come,

you ask who will be there,

I say 'me,'

then you tell me you don't want to go.

 

You don't even try to make me feel as though I am not the reason you don't want to go,

you could say 'I can't right now maybe another time,'

you could say 'I'd like to but I'm busy,'

you could say 'I'll go another time with you,'

letting me starve on false hope,

but you don't instead,

you tell me you don't want to go because it's me.

 

I die a little,

every time you say that,

in a way,

I guess,

I am doing this to myself,

I continue to ask knowing the answer,

I can't help it,

I think you're a drug,

and I just found out I'm an addict,

waiting for the next hit,

it's unfortunate when you live for the same thing that kills you.

 

I can't even replace you,

you're in my head,

my lungs,

I breathe hoping,

that each breath that I take,

is closer to the ones I lose when I'm with you.

 

C-L-S

VT

17 years old

More by C-L-S

  • Whispers of a home

    I hear the tick of a clock letting me know every second I am wasting as I scroll through my phone,

    the slide of my finger against the screen,

    the tap of my thumb as I message someone back,

    artificial noise.

     

  • A child in Spring

    Some where there is a child jumping in new puddles,

    playing in the soft mud of the Earth,

    full of joy.

     

    Some where a child picks springs new dandelions,

    blowing on the fluffy seeds to make wishes.

  • A letter to ICE

    Pledge your life to liberty and justice,

    raise your hand and take an oath to serve and protect,

    who are you protecting though?

     

    I watch the news and see agents hurting the innocent,

    children,