Lost opportunities

I tried to fit the pieces
together, but my introverted self
ended up pushing them
farther apart. I wanted to
spark something, 
light something on fire,
watch it burn deep inside as 
the smoke and ashes prick
my frigid cold arms.

I wanted to watch the fireworks
light up and burst
with prickling excitement
as my fingers laced through yours.

I turned my opportunity into water,
there but just out of reach,
slipping right through my fumbling fingers.

My heart beat so hard against my chest
it broke
and I let it.
I threw gasoline on it 
and watched the sparks ignite.

Letting my opportunity
lose itself to the flames.

The flames are all around me,
surrounding me, 
but yet I'm not burning.
I'm under water,
lost in what I can't touch.

My opportunity gone with the tide;

an idea turned to rust.