For now

I miss an incredible amount of people. Those who have left me, and those that I have left. It's disappointing, I think, when someone we consider a friend--which, to me, is an extension of our souls--take a different path in some crossroads we find. I knew a family, once upon a time, that I barely recognize now. They've changed. My father and the husband had an awful fight, and they haven't spoken since then. My mother tries to keep the peace, and speaks to the wife often, (or, often enough to consider her a friend) but I miss the peace of driving along their dirt road, the trees and clouds and dust a lovely companion to my melancholy teenage loneliness. I still love her, I still love her children, I, even now, care deeply about her husband, their father, but this friendship, to be rebuilt, will take soul searching. The union of our hearts and minds, the agreement, clash, and then agreement again of our morals, will take time. In fact, my mother says that she thinks it's almost pointless--that the reason they fought was so trivial that our friendship, if it is to be reborn, will be settled on a foundation of mistrust, and we will never truly be able to tell them how we really feel. 

Sadly, I do think this is the case, and while I feel an immeasurable amount of compassion for that family, it is time I laid our differences to rest. It is time I realize that some things, like these, do not contain multitudes. They are simply stupid. 

Oh, yeah. And damn you, COVID. I can't see these people without being reminded of the damage your illness caused. Go choke on a log. 

-Infinite