i stare blankly at the people around me
so similar yet so different
an average lady donning a brightly colored bucket hat,
the edges slightly frayed in some edges
as if someone nervously fingered the tie-dye cloth until the indigo bleed into the mustard
a zippered jacket, with monotone, graying balls of lint
that seemed out of place in her rainbow color scheme
platinum blonde hair lazily tied up in a low bun,
wispy strands of hair desperately trying to escape the knotted mass
i don’t blame them
a gaggle of kids, all perfectly lined up in a circle, criss-cross applesauce
their clothes blur into neon blobs that match the patterns on the reading carpet
i stare
they stare back
the lady clears her throat a little too loudly
a few kids cover their ears in protest
the lady, who now has small splotches of soft pink spreading across her cheeks
decidedly begins
“now class, we’re all going to go around in a circle... she nods in my direction
i silently scooch further into their little group, goodbye oval
“and share our names. but, and here’s where things get a little interesting,
we get to add characteristics-
all you have to do is make it the same letter as your first name!”
pick something real generic and make sure it wraps all of you up in a nice little bubble.
the kids nod excitedly, bobbing their heads ‘till a few are panting heavily from exhaustion
words start flying out, with no order nor pattern
kind katie
generous george
lucky lily
rebellious rachel
helpful henry
beautiful bella
energetic emily
adventurous angela
and somehow, they all finish before i had even thought of mine
in unison, they all (including the lady) turn eerily and glower at me
one of the girls, kind katie
with dirty blonde pigtails and neon pink legging shorts, speaks
“aren’t you going to share your name?” she scoffs, staring me down with a dirty glare
a few other kids giggle nervously, unsure if this was supposed to happen
pulling my eyes up from the rug, i finally had an answer
because what if adventurous angela turned into angry angela
and what if helpful henry turned into hateful henry
beautiful Bella into boastful Bella
lucky lily into lying lily
what if we are all just a little more than an adjective and what we are known by
what if we are all just a little more than our preschool names
“so?” the girl continued, relentless
“complex,” I answered firmly.
i didn’t care if it didn’t fit the first letter of my name
it didn’t have to
i am complex
I walked out knowing that would never change.
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