preschool names

i stare blankly at the people around me

so similar yet so different 

an average lady donning a brightly colored bucket hat,

the edges slightly frayed in some edges

as if someone nervously fingered the tie-dye cloth until the indigo bleed into the mustard 

a zippered jacket, with monotone, graying balls of lint 

that seemed out of place in her rainbow color scheme 

platinum blonde hair lazily tied up in a low bun, 

wispy strands of hair desperately trying to escape the knotted mass

i don’t blame them 

a gaggle of kids, all perfectly lined up in a circle, criss-cross applesauce 

their clothes blur into neon blobs that match the patterns on the reading carpet 

i stare 

they stare back

the lady clears her throat a little too loudly

a few kids cover their ears in protest

the lady, who now has small splotches of soft pink spreading across her cheeks

decidedly begins

“now class, we’re all going to go around in a circle... she nods in my direction

i silently scooch further into their little group, goodbye oval

“and share our names. but, and here’s where things get a little interesting,

 we get to add characteristics-

 all you have to do is make it the same letter as your first name!”

pick something real generic and make sure it wraps all of you up in a nice little bubble.

the kids nod excitedly, bobbing their heads ‘till a few are panting heavily from exhaustion 

words start flying out, with no order nor pattern 

kind katie

generous george 

lucky lily 

rebellious rachel 

helpful henry 

beautiful bella

energetic emily

adventurous angela 




and somehow, they all finish before i had even thought of mine

in unison, they all (including the lady) turn eerily and glower at me 

one of the girls, kind katie

with dirty blonde pigtails and neon pink legging shorts, speaks

“aren’t you going to share your name?” she scoffs, staring me down with a dirty glare

a few other kids giggle nervously, unsure if this was supposed to happen 

pulling my eyes up from the rug, i finally had an answer 

because what if adventurous angela turned into angry angela

and what if helpful henry turned into hateful henry 

beautiful Bella into boastful Bella 

lucky lily into lying lily 

what if we are all just a little more than an adjective and what we are known by 

 what if we are all just a little more than our preschool names 

“so?” the girl continued, relentless

“complex,” I answered firmly.

i didn’t care if it didn’t fit the first letter of my name

it didn’t have to 

i am complex 

I walked out knowing that would never change.