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Aug 09
poem 4 comments challenge: Pastoral
Sidney B.'s picture
Sidney B.

Peace

Big, open, vast, and wide.
Brilliant light shone from side to side.
A place where I'm most at peace?
It includes none of these!

Airy and rocky, way up high.
Close enough to kiss the sky.
A place where I can just be me?
Certainly not somewhere so above the sea!

Green and fertile, covered in vines.
Where birds chirp and sing like windchimes.
A place where I find serenity?
Not a place in nature, preferably!

Sandy and warm, a salty breeze.
Billowing by with gentle ease.
A place where I can be happy?
Not by the ocean. Water makes me snappy!

Nowhere above can a place be seen.
Where I would be truly serene.
Were the question: 'A place where I'm content'
Any of the above would do, had I my pen.

#sos17

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Posted: 08.09.17
Sidney B.'s picture
About the Author: Sidney B.
MSG / CONTACT
RECENT LOVES
Author has not loved anything.
RECENT COMMENTS
  • Still good. Found you, Gavin.
  • Initially I was going to make
  • I'm glad to read you enjoyed
  • I'll be editing it to
  • Yeah, you have no idea.

Other Posts by Author

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    Somedays I wonder if breaking my hands would be better than putting them on the keyboard hundreds of Read more
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  • Rain Dance
    The heartbeat I hear booms like thunder. Read more
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Discussion

Comments

  1. Grace Safford
    Aug 08, 2017

    This is so great. This put a real smile on my face when I hit the last stanza. That final message really paid off, especially since you didn't allude to the writing aspect in the beginning of the poem. The rhyme scheme was also such a great way to create flow, and to really engage your reader. I personally loved each rhyme you made. What a great poem.
    —GS, Intern

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  1. Sidney B.
    Aug 08, 2017

    Glad you liked it. But honestly, I lied at the last line. My handwriting's terrible, and I'd certainly use a pencil or computer given a choice. But that didn't fit the rhyme scheme at all, so this is what ended up happening. It appears to have worked out, which is great.

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  1. Grace Safford
    Aug 09, 2017

    Ha! I love that backstory. To be honest, my handwriting is really atrocious. I'm surprised anyone can read it.

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  1. bradie31
    Aug 11, 2017

    This speaks to me so much and I love your pattern per each stanza!

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