weird dream

I lay in bed 
in the cold hours of the morning 
nobody's listening 
it's 3 am
they're all asleep
off in dreamland they be 
thinking of pleasant things 
while I just want to scream
I don't understand myself 
my head is coming undone 
or maybe it was never fully on.

I stare at my hands
nails jagged and worn
skin cracked and dry 
when I could have sworn
they weren't like that before

but then I think
wait, when was the last time I looked
I tiny little voice in the back of my mind 
my conscience screaming at me 
telling me-
oh.
the last time I looked was about a month ago.

I'm falling into disrepair
my shoulders sore
and over there 
on the chair
is my empty glass
I just can't get up to refill
plus when it's empty it's harder to spill.  

I don't know why I'm letting this happen
I'm just standing by 
I'm being held captive 
by my own issues 

soon enough my hair will be greasy as snape's
my eyes will be empty my mind will be blank 
and it's getting quite dank
in this little cave of my bedroom 
I need to escape I run 
out the door 
down the stairs 
but I'm somehow back in my room

my mind rushes to find an explanation
but then I'm falling through
falling through a trapdoor down 
down I go
where?
I don't know.

I wake up
drenched in cold sweat 
my mind still reeling
from these odd events
I look around my tidy room
and see nothing out of place
no dirty glasses
no candy wrappers 
everything put away 


I reach up to rub my face 
and my hands are back to normal 
I look at them  
happily taking in 
the sight of normal nails and normal skin

I look at the clock
on my bedside table
3 am it says
well
back to bed.