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Oct 20
poem 15 comments
Thenbenhappened

Good Morning

mediaRecorder_59efe18bb51d9.ogg.mp3
6:00 a.m.
My eyelids split open;
The sticky sleep,
Peeling slowly off me.  
My eyes adjusted
To the damp darkness.

6:06 a.m.
I found myself
Exiting my bed.
Scooping up my
Pile of school clothes
Off the ground.
I stood up,
And slammed my head
On the edge of my dresser.

6:08 a.m.
The dull throbbing
In my head
Finally quelled.
I hoped the
Red curse words
That flew from my lips
Did not find their way
To the ears of my
Sleeping kin.

6:10 a.m.
Through the darkness
I found the bathroom,
The lights flashed on
And burned my eyes.

6:11 a.m.
My eyes adjusted
And I caught sight
Of myself in the mirror
Good morning
My reflection hummed,
I hope you have a horrible day.
That’s what you deserve after all.
Another horrible day.


6:13 a.m.
I was in the shower now.
I sung a meaningless pop song.
Maybe I should take
Singing lessons.

6:20 a.m.
I gelled my hair,
And remembered
I forgot to do
Fifth period homework.
You idiot
The gel squished softly
You’re going to fail that class
If you don’t get it together.
You’ll fail,
And make nothing of yourself.


6:28 a.m.
I was dressed now,
Hair finally dry.
I checked the time.
I took too long in the shower,
I’d have to miss breakfast.

6:29 a.m.
I laced my shoes,
And grabbed a
Can of soda.
I snapped it open
And took a sip,
Then stepped outside.

6:30 a.m.
Something landed on my cheek.
An invisible kiss,
Of a lover long forgotten.
I blinked in surprise,
Not believing what I saw,
What I heard.
There were no put downs,
No snarky remarks
Lashing out at me.
Instead,
The first snowflakes
Of a new Winter whispered,
Today is going to be a good day.
 
Audio download:
mediaRecorder_59efe18bb51d9.ogg.mp3
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Posted: 10.20.17
About the Author: Thenbenhappened
MSG / CONTACT
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Discussion

Comments

  1. Reid
    Oct 20, 2017

    Thenben -- this is an unexpected and delightful winter tale. (I added the Winter Tales challenge tag to it. Are you OK with that?) Wow, I can feel the sleepy haze, the stumbling around, the blech of it all -- and then there's that sweet twist at the end. I love it! We're also putting it out front as a daily read to make sure it gets the readership it deserves.

    YWP Executive Director
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  1. Thenbenhappened
    Oct 20, 2017

    Yes that is perfectly okay! I actually meant to tag it as such but I guess I missed it :)
    Thank you so much for the daily read and the kind words!

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  1. H20.hollym
    Oct 20, 2017

    This is a very cool piece! I love a couple things in particular about it: One, the progression of time throughout the piece, especially having it as the first line of every stanza. Two, your word choice and descriptions were very unique and still very pleasing to the ear. You have a way with words.

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  1. Thenbenhappened
    Oct 20, 2017

    That is an humbling compliment, thank you so much :)

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  1. alhaag
    Oct 20, 2017

    This is a beautiful piece. You have a mastery of the emotions of the poem in that anyone reading it can feel precisely what you are projecting. I love the idea that a terrible morning, like many other mornings, is sweetened so wonderfully by the first snowfall. Very well written and a nice spin on a winter tale that avoids clichés. Keep up the good work : )

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  1. Thenbenhappened
    Oct 20, 2017

    This comment brought a smile to my face, thank you so much!!!

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  1. Saia_Patel
    Oct 20, 2017

    This is a really interesting piece! It really demonstrates how much can really happen in one hour! I loved how you incorporated the snow at the end of the poem!

    poetry is eternal graffiti written in the heart of everyone

    - lawrence ferlinghetti

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  1. Thenbenhappened
    Oct 20, 2017

    I'm glad you liked it, thank you for the comment!!

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  1. ShanRippWriting
    Oct 23, 2017

    This is incredible. Shannon :)

    Shannon Ripp

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  1. Thenbenhappened
    Oct 24, 2017

    Thank you so much :)

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  1. Kitkat
    Oct 24, 2017

    I love this piece. You capture that just-woken-up feeling perfectly, that sluggish, grumpiness that you can't shake off. And then-- whoosh-- you turn it right around and walk away, leaving the reader standing and blinking at the snow alongside the main character. Beautifully done. I also love the time stamps. I didn't really pay attention to them at first, but then as I reread it, I realized this all happened before 6:30, in just half an hour. And though you send a clear message, I'm so glad you didn't try and force it on the reader-- it would've destroyed the mood. Thanks for sharing.

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  1. Thenbenhappened
    Oct 24, 2017

    Thank you for commenting!!!

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  1. Reid
    Oct 24, 2017

    You really hit it with this one, Thenbenhappened! Well done! Could you add audio so we can send it on to VPR and VtDigger? I can't wait to hear your groggy voice!

    YWP Executive Director
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  1. Thenbenhappened
    Oct 24, 2017

    Yes!!! I just added the audio now! Thank you!!!

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  1. Reid
    Oct 25, 2017

    Audio's great! Thank you!

    YWP Executive Director
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