Brother Dearest

you, my brother, 

are a paradox 

of my happiest 

and saddest memories 

I could sit for hours and watch 

as you played games and talked 

sometimes to me, 

most times to the screen 

it seems silly, 

but it made me happy 

just to be there with you 

even if it was only for a little while 

part of me wants to be friends again 

to play make-believe 

with carved wooden chopsticks 

like when we were little 

back when three years

didn’t feel so huge 

you tell me you want that too 

I want to believe you 

maybe next time 

you’ll say it sober