Apr 24

I'm Sorry for Being Addicted

I'm sorry for being addicted.
To my friends,
To people I care about,
To socializing.

I'm sorry it's taking over my life. 
My passing college grades,
The praise from my teachers,
My reputation amung my peers,
The novel I wrote,
The ones I'm still writing,
The short stories that are published,
My comics,
My art
Are all solid evidence of how helplessly roped in I am.

I'm sorry I spend my own free time how I want to.
That these people make me happy,
That they help me when I'm panicking, 
That my anxiety and depression have all but disappeared.

I'm sorry for wanting to spend time with them.
That I'd climb a mountain for them,
That I'd overcome my greatest fears to be with them.

I'm sorry I care about other human beings and enjoy their time.
I'm sure you have people in your life that you care about.
Being with them for only two hours a day isn't enough. 
You want to spend forever with them. 
And you'd do anything to be where they are.
Or maybe you don't care about anyone that much.
Maybe you can't grasp the concept of how much this hurts me. 
It would explain a lot. 

I'll try to get you to understand.
I breathe.
More than two hours a day, in fact.
How unhealthy!
I'm addicted.
I need more balance in my life. 
I should stop breathing.
and I mean yeah,
That comparison is a little extreme.
But have you ever cared about other human beings that much?  

Listen,
(You probably won't listen but I'm saying this anyways so at least try to)
I try to avoid writing salty, sarcastic poems and showing them to the public.
It isn't very nice to the people I'm talking about.
But to be honest I've never been so angry in my life. 
I've had tears in my eyes for the past 16 hours.

The only thing keeping me from running away right now is school. 
And you claim it's because I want to escape your rules, 
But if that was the case I would have wanted to leave forever ago.
Although, I do admit that ever since 2nd grade I've prefered school over home in most cases.
I found it so strange because all of the other kids were the opposite. 
It's because I want to be with my friends. 

I'm just a spoiled brat aren't I?
I'll be upset until I get what I want. 
All I want is two things, 
My friends and happiness. 
But I'm the happiest when I'm with my friends, 
So I guess you can lump those two things into one. 

Maybe after letting this all out I'll be able to look you in the eyes,
Or maybe it'll make everything worse just like everything I say ever does.
I apologize deeply for my overwhelming attachment
To positive feelings and human interaction.

Except I'm not, because I'm being salty and sarcastic.
I don't regret spending time with people I care about.
 
About the Author: Pomp
Warning: Bound to suddenly start talking about Lego, cartoons, cats, fandoms, books, Europe, minerals, chemistry, the unfair way red-heads are treated, and Potatoes. 
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