Now that he actually showed up I was not sure how to act, should I start crying loudly, burst into hysterical laughter, or yell? Now that he was here was it okay to laugh at all the stupid things we had done as kids? Was it right to cry because he had been mean, arrogant, and selfish? Should I yell about all the crimes he had committed mentally and physically against so many people? I had come here every night for years by the old tree, hoping that he might show up and have a way to explain all the wrong he had done and we would suddenly be close again. What had I expected? A way to completely erase the past 20 years? Had I expected everything to go back to normal? Now that he is here I know that none of this is possible. He is more distant than ever before and he seems not to remember all those years we spent; climbing trees, swimming in his pool, and catching bugs. I have to accept that those years are gone, and while I will always have those memories, I have to accept that life changes.