What if?

What if I never find it?

What if all of this is for nothing?

I've been hurt by caring before.

It's easier not to...but it's been a freedom for me.

I don't want to give that up.

I want to take the next step.

 

What if I never find it, though?

What then?

What if I've been chasing

The future that can't be?

What if I'm not good enough?

 

I push it down

These intrusive thoughts

Because I know

I wouldn't have discovered this magic

This real-life magic

If I wasn't enough.

But it doesn't matter what I think...

What if I'm not good enough for them?

What if they don't see the best of me?

What if they don't see what it means to me?

 

What if this isn't meant to be?

What if

What if

What if?

I'm searching for what I got a taste of

A few months ago.

Searching, desiring, this 

Impossible thing.

What if?

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • Story of my life

    I could pretend to be happy

    When the world is ending

    And you'd all believe me

    I'm a great actor

    But never onstage

     

    I can say I'm happy for you

    Congrats that's so cool

    When under it all

  • It's hard

    It's hard

    It's really hard

    When there are so many people to balance all the time

    So many personalities

    So many conversations

    Overlapping

    Talking over each other

    So many big emotions

  • I think

    I think you make me really happy

    I think it’s sort of all-consuming

    I think I want to be with you every second

    Of every day

    I think maybe what keeps me up at night

    Is replaying you

    Replaying us