The Summer of You

I step outside.

Haven’t been out here in a while;

I prefer the solitude of my room,

With my clutter and junk

Reminding me of this year

Who I am

What time of my life I’m in.

Outside,

I can never be sure.

I am an object

Floating in space and time

With no ties to here nor there

And my past

Feels like my present and future.

This scares me.

The feeling of summer,

Arriving so quickly,

Dumps me back

Into last year at this time -

Brutally,

Like a slap across the face,

A splash of cold water.

I’m not saying I miss it.

It just…everything about it

Everything about this

Is you.
You are the summer.

You embody it.

And I see that every time 

I walk outside

And it’s a dull ache.

A painful one

But one I can handle.

The farmers market.

The library.

How chill and fun everything was.

Centered around the friend group.

Centered around my planning.

The dandelion wishes,

The hot summer sun,

Tank tops and t-shirts and shorts,

Ice cream,

Lemonade.

You.

The summer of you.