We were in Montreal
But this time you were there
And my friends
You said you liked my skirt
We got up from dinner
Everyone walked around
I walked close to you
You were taller than me, like in real life, too
You rubbed my back and my waist
Kept me close to you
It wasn’t weird
I liked it
A lot
More than anyone should
Looking up at you
Having you there
Like that
Intimately
Not awkwardly
Not weirdly
Like perfect
Forever
And when I woke up
I thought maybe
This could be
Something
Failure.
It's not a familiar word to me
Because I am never failing unless I know
I haven't tried hard enough
Been my best
But that was failure.
Not by me,
By them,
I let myself cry
And it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest
Exploding
Shattering into the sky
I felt like I was dying
Each day it gets easier
But when it catches up to you
I'm so old
I know I'm not really but
It feels like it.
Like I'm a teenager
For real this time
Like I'm normal
And my parents trust me
And I can text?
And I'm normal
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