Who am I?

Sometimes I think

Of what my life would be without this

Without the conductor who changed my life

Without my duet partner who taught me how to perform

Without my instrument

Without the music

Without the song in my chest

The song that's trapped

But I will be able to free it

By playing everyone else's stories

And discovering my own

In time

When it comes to this,

I can have patience.

Who am I,

Without this?

Who am I without all this?

I wonder.

I wonder what makes me me

If I don't have this.

If I lived in a world without it.

And then I realize what everyone else is saying,

Not knowing who they are

Who they want to be

What they want to do with their life

Not knowing is scary

But I haven't not known,

Haven't ever had to panic,

Not really,

Because by the time I was old enough to

I had found myself

Latched onto it so securely

Because it's who I am.

And I know that,

In every part of me.

I can feel it.

But sometimes still

I ask myself

Who am I?

Who am I without this?

I would be lonely and broken

I would be

Not

Me

Not

This girl

I would be

Haven't found myself yet

Faceless

Nameless

I would be invisible

Because the one thing that shines light

Onto every edge of my person

Every smile, every fight

Every love and every loss

The one validation

That's me.

Who am I?

Who would I be

If I didn't have this?

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • I think

    I think you make me really happy

    I think it’s sort of all-consuming

    I think I want to be with you every second

    Of every day

    I think maybe what keeps me up at night

    Is replaying you

    Replaying us

  • Together

    You’re different

    With all of us

    Versus just me.

    You’re different

    With a whole crazy friend group

    Than you are when it’s us chilling in your basement watching Stranger Things 

  • People

    People want things from me

    This incredible group of people

    They want me to mediate

    To laugh

    To help them with x, y, and z

    They want me to come with them

    Pulling me in different directions constantly