raincity

The bed creaks as I slowly rise, nobody here though I’m not surprised.

My hair knotted and straw-like, crackling as I pull it back. 

My mind has been gone for days, weeks, months,

“You can tell me,” I whisper to the wind.

“It’s worthless now,” I almost hear, whistled through the trees. 

I can’t, I won’t 

I’m done, and I feel too alone to accept it. 

I miss the summer heat, and the love I once received, 

Before I turned

Seventeen. 

Sometimes I wish I could forget about last week, last month, last year, my past,

the green leaves will flutter on the trees,
your car will leave the big hot parking lot,
once and for all. 
will I leave with someone else, 
or by myself,
because maybe I just need to digest what happened

I miss the days when it was a act of criminal to touch
the railings at the public library.
I miss the days when you sighed and said it's ok when it wasn't.

It's an hour of the day when it's ok,
but it's not fine. 
I've lost my chance.
My chance is far
from near.
The milky twilight will stain my face a ghostly white
and remind me of my losses,