NiñaEstrella

When
it was fun
I would leap for happiness and think
Wow, this is the coolest thing ever!
Now
it isn’t 
And I find myself slipping away
a mossy, wet, decaying rock
Underneath my feet

a warm washcloth
soaked in the water many patient times
covered in soap, happy soap
scrubbed on her face until it shines pink and clean and sleepy
then washed again
dipped over and over by those calm, wrinkled hands

It takes a while for the family to slowly make their way up to the counter of the woman selling balloons. First, the mother has to corral her twin boys, who have somehow run off towards the toys.

Psst.
What?
Are you awake?
Yeah.
What do you hope you get?
Here, come in my bed.
Brrr, it's cold.
Yeah.
What time is it?
Sigh. Early. 
Like five?
Yeah.

At the beginning,
I didn't know.
And it seems like when you don't know you lean towards
No.
But I wanted to be bold.
I wanted to be remembered.
I wanted to tell stories to my kids and family later in life. 

She radiated coolness
And was in control.
When you walked by her,
The world seemed to freeze
Just to make space for her.
Her long dark hair was curly, springy.
She always wore emerald green,
And lime green glasses.