Sunflowergirl

My bloody heart
runs from the broken glass 
and concrete cracks
Flying down the highway
I hold tight 
tears and raindrops
on every broken tail light
chasing me

Perfect girl
they say
as they smile straight at me
as if we share some joke
and I'm not in agony
if they saw the rest
I think they'd be quite scared
I wish they saw the half of me
that doesn't comb her hair

I like to write my words on peach pits
so they grow again
and down fall plump ripe fruit
into my waiting mouth
where juice rolls down my chin
and drops onto sheets of paper
the sweet juice covering my bitter words
 

This day has no real description
it was a day of fullness
and emptiness 
and rainclouds with bits on thunder
the thunder struck me and I knew I was buried a moment
I marveled at the ease 
of the dirt surrounding me

You're more real in each photo
each video
maybe you're gone in those too
but we can't tell
a sunshine smile
tells only what it wants to
each reminder of your absence 
is sickly sweet
I want them to stop

My soul fills my body so much
that a single puncture
can become a rushing waterfall
thick skin is impossible
I am the thinnest of tissue paper
though a quick smile
and "I'm fine"
seem to turn me to stone