Do you ever grieve something

that isn't even over yet?

It's like you know

that's it's going to be gone anyway,

that you're going to miss it

so much,

No matter how far I run

how loud I scream

how hard I try

I'm never fast enough

never loud enough

never good enough.

Because even if I am,

I'm not.

What used to be my everything 

has now turned into what feels almost like a burden.