after all of this

it's only february

and look at this world,

i want to know if we'll

get through all of this. 

and on the other side 

will i be still standing,

or will i keep falling like i am now,

and i'll fail my way out of college

and out of high school

and out of life. 

in the past couple of years

i've been thinking about getting a flat

with my best friend in london

after we've graduated. 

now the idea seems more compelling,

we could get away from all this;

i'd rather live in the monarchy

than in this twisted form of democracy. 

is it bad i don't want to hear the news?

not when it sends me crying on the floor,

how is it i can still feel guilty for just living?

i don't know, 

but i know we now lock our bedroom doors. 

after all of this

will we still be alive?

i'm too young for it, 

hello 2025...