Biggest Hardship

Something that I have struggled to cope with these past couple of years is the suicide of a loved one. Having to deal with the fact that they were gone and that I would never see them again because of the choice that they made, was the worst things that I have ever been through. The first year after they were gone was spent worrying about why they did it. I used up so much time beating myself up about how I could’ve acted differently. I never stopped trying to convince myself that changing one small thing would result in them still being here. I was in so much pain and there were some days where I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about them or get myself to stop crying. Somewhere along the way though, it got easier. I was able to think about them and laugh, instead of breaking down. There are still days where it hits me harder than others, and I don’t think I will ever be completely healed from this, but I can safely say that life has gotten better. The biggest lesson that I have learned from this whole experience is that no matter what happens to me and how bad it is, I can always rebound from it. I am stronger than I know and there is no problem too big or too bad, because I will always be able to guide myself through it.