Birthday #3

On September 8th, I woke up to a day like most others. The world was a lot of things that it was not a year ago, and for me, most things felt like they stayed the same- how to confront the change of aging when everything else is changing so much more than you ever will? The truth is, I will far from remember 2025 for my birthday, my sweet 16. 2025 was the year our mouths were closed and eyes were shut. 2025 was the year we forgot what we were fighting for.

It was easier than ever for me to see that I have solidified, in the last 12 months. I stand taller because my bones have strengthened in the way that tends to happen in the face of adversity. Barely-15 me feels young, with lot to learn. But what lesson was there to gain this year from needless, senseless destruction? From anger and hate? From the fear that comes with wondering if we will ever get a chance to rebuild?

I think maybe the only thing I’ve truly been able to take away from the events of the past months- the only thing that I could always fall back on- was recognition, of sorts. To notice what we still have, despite everything; to know that I am nowhere near poor for all the gifts given by the world around me, the things that matter. I have so much to fight for.

So I am 16, and I am so incredibly grateful.

In a world which makes it hard to distinguish between the stress of a big game and the establishment of a dictatorship, I realize how lucky I am to feel both.

I have been given a shot at life in a pivotal time period in which one of the most influential ages I will ever live coincides with a turning point in our history, one where many have had been crushed by a boot with the heal twisted.

But I am grateful because I have lived this long, and at least I get a chance. At least I have seen sunsets and homework and blueberry picking and the hexagonal patterns of a soccer ball imprinted on my thigh. Even if the fear of this year being the last before I or loved ones fall victim is realer than ever, at least I have a family, alive and whole, that loves me.

My only wish is that I live in a way that pays forward the gift. My only hope is that hope is not lost.

Happy late birthday to me.