Come on,
just another step.
Come on,
just another breath.
Come on,
just another swallow
of the pain that makes you hollow.
Just one more sweet smile
another attempt to beguile.
Though I know it is pouring,
you need to keep going.
Do I have to be alone?
Say that you're fine
because you will be in time.
Keep your darkness inside,
cast your feelings aside,
because the hearts they could break
would be just too much to take.
She doesn't want me in her life...
Then we'll erase ourselves from view.
She doesn't care about what I have to say.
Then we'll find people who do.
It hurts
I know. I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm dying
I am sorry it has to be this way.
Take a drink,
self-negotiate,
resist the urge to scream, cut, and disassociate.
I don't know what to do...
Don't think.
Don't unglue.
Focus on what's in front of you.
If you feel yourself sink,
try to clear your mind
as your core beliefs become more maligned.
I can't do this anymore
Remember,
you've been alone before.
Remember,
there's a lot more to life
and you'll be
just
fine.
You have to be.
Comments
this hit really close to home, I love it so much
thanks, that means a lot. I glad you could relate
I have the same feeling (except instead of missing a relationship, it's just the general lack of having one lol). It's true that there is a lot more to life, and you might have been worse off staying in a relationship that wasn't working well. Hope you feel better soon :')
Thank you :')
It is probably true that I'll be better off without one... eventually. It's just hard to see sometimes, because I still think about her and everything, except now she's even further away and my opinions are completely meaningless now, which feels really devaluing. It also hurts to know that she'd rather dump me than change for the better, like I'm just not worth the trouble. The fact that I am trouble stings. I shared and devoted my whole life to her during the few months of our relationship, and she just turned her back one day and was like "Yeah, no," and walked away (metaphorically). We had our disputes even while we were dating, but back then I still believed she still loved me and wouldn't give up on us. Now that's gone, and all the wrongs that have happened and I thought I was over come back to haunt and torture me. And I haven't even started to mention how I miss having a hand to hold and everything. It all really turns your world upside down. But maybe it'll pay off in the long run. Maybe the scars just might heal and make me a better (and hopefully more emotionally stable but I highly doubt it) person somehow some day. Sorry for the rant, heh
But yes the idea of having a relationship is very appealing, so I totally get that you might feel like you're lacking one. I wish I were in a good relationship, and I don't really care who as long as they care about me and support me and stuff. That'd be really nice. But with how many marriages end in divorce, it's hard not to get pessimistic about my chances...
But hey being single isn't that bad, and it's probably for the better so it's best I just try not to ruminate on it too much and instead try to actually get my life together. Wish me luck, and thanks once again! <3
I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds really tough :(
I don't have much advice since I've never been through a breakup, but I would suggest to try to cultivate/focus on friendships, since doing that has helped keep my mind off wanting a relationship. In the end, friendships are often healthier and longer-lasting than romantic relationships, and they can still be very special and beautiful, just without the stress that often comes with dating. It can be hard to find your "people" sometimes and I'm still doing that lol, but I feel like I'm slowly but steadily building a group of friends (mostly female) that I feel comfortable with and really connected to. If/when I do date someone and go through a breakup, it's nice to think that I will still have them to fall back on, and while I'm not in a relationship it's good to have other forms of connection.
Also--the person you were with seems to have treated you very unfairly, and you shouldn't internalize that/think you are "trouble". Sadly, she might just not have been emotionally able to give you what you wanted out of the relationship and were giving to her. It's hard to hear, but try your best to start moving on, or like you said no longer ruminate as much (it's actually one of my dad's personal policies not to ruminate lol! i think it's a good one!). And feel happy about the little things in life: a day when it's finally not as cold, a good meal, a good book, whatever gets you through each day, then week, then month, etc. Also, you're already doing this but continue expressing your emotions through writing! I often find it very cathartic and mind-clearing to sort my thoughts out on paper. Writing fiction can be a great way to escape, too.
I totally understand the missing the hand to hold part--every time I see a couple holding hands, I just feel so sad that I don't have that, and mad at myself for getting my hopes up over a guy who I now know has a girlfriend. I'm trying to stay positive and think that eventually I will have a relationship that's caring and supportive, but I'm also sort of pessimistic, because if I do start dating someone, how do I know it'll work out? It's complicated by the fact that I still haven't really moved on...the guy I liked has no idea and still wants to be my friend, and every time I see him it's like my brain forgets I can't like him anymore and starts searching for any hint I might still have a chance :(
Anyway, sorry for the rant at the end lol. I agree that being single doesn't have to be so bad!! We've both got this. And feel free to message me on ywp anytime!! <3
This poem is so good and is so heartbreakingly deep and full of emotion. I hope this all gets better and you realize there are people you can go to and it's okay to not be fine sometimes. You'll make it through, ik like everyone says that so it doesn't really count for much but all of that must be excruciating to go through. Hope it all gets better <3
Thanks <3
Log in or register to post comments.