How can you not see,
The true feelings deep in me.
The hard ache of hiding,
It's still not subsiding.
Lying to myself
"Just put the thoughts on a shelf."
Please stop pretending that you can't tell,
Long ago from that high horse I fell.
I'm sorry it didn't work
But I now you know.
And I can't stand to mask it anymore
I'm not a girl.
I am not Branwen.
I'm somewhere in-between
And I know that I am Bee
My world is different
A new place
A new name
Yet still just the same as last year
Still the same crushing sorrow
Still the same grief as last year
I step out into a cool summer night
The air fills my lungs and soothes my anxiety riddled body
I walk out and feel the calm breeze on my torn up skin, wrapping around me like it's comforting my wounds
I've grieved this relationship a million times, a million ways, yet it was always somehow easier because I knew you would come back. I knew how to play my cards so I could be assured that you were hooked as much as I am.
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