i've had
29
crushes.
the problem is
almost
none
were
reciprocated.
recently
i've developed
another
on one of my
friends,
forbidden.
to her
kissing
isn't a big
deal
to me
it is.
she's been in
long term
relationships
i haven't.
she doesn't
want one
right now
i do.
so i need
to hide
my feelings
and act like
everything fine
when
it isn't.
crush #30
unreciprocated
yet
again.
I've always
been scared
of rejection
so I
don't do
anything
i hold
myself back
from things
others do
i've always
been scared
of rejection
so how
the last time i ate
was this morning
blueberry pancakes
warm
the smell of cinnamon
wafting from them
i ate a bite
then stopped
i imagine
ten year old me
running to the table
what is it?
i've always found it
confusing
why
are we tied to
one person
only
why
is romantic love
more important
than friendship
why
do i push people away
yet long
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