Dream of Me?

I dream about you still,  
do you dream of me? 

It is no grand affair, these dreams 
not of your smile, your hands, your kindness 

your cruelty 

not childhood fantasies of you 
not the you I miss like childhood 

it's just you, a hallway 
a dropped folder and bended knees 

hands brushing as we both kneel 
to the floor and look up 

and then it's your eyes 

I don't remember the color but my dreams do 
do you remember mine in your dreams? 

I don't think I ever looked you in the eyes

a childhood fantasy, a childhood cruelty
a childhood reality that is now a dream

It is too much, the dreams, and too little
it is false security, not fear, that wakes me up

the dark is calming after your eyes
your gaze that burned mine to ash

tell me, do you dream of me
and is it painful too?