Drowning in the unknown

I am tormented by slight movements

even silence is hurting me

reality seems to be strobing

or something like it -

I've yet to learn how to explain these moments to others,

even myself.

It's not normal,

that I know for sure

from the small noises attacking me the most

to how off it feels when I think to myself

it's like the pattern of life has escaped me

or entered me?

I'm not sure

but everything is overwhelming in a bad way

everything now belongs to some foreign beat pattern that is all in my head

yet seems to be woven into reality

the slight clicking and tapping of the computer's keyboard is making it all the worst

I can't explain it;

it's been in my dreams, too

it's like a sensation

on the verge of an emotion

and it scares me

I'm not sure if I should wait it out

or if I should try breaking the pattern

but when I try

the tempo of existence fails me

it crashes down over my head

I'm drowning in the unknown

I can swim

but this liquid isn't water

I can't quite place what it is

it's denser

harsher

less forgiving

overwhelming

I have no name for it

I can't even describe it

this fluid that I'm briefly drowning in

until it dries up

and life is as it was once more

which scares me the most

because I can never tell when it will reoccur next.