Faith

They told you to believe.

So you did. With all your heart.

And that heart betrayed you,

again and again,

so you beat it bloody

until it cowered

and you ran from it.

You knew this life, this love, did not belong to you,

so you ran and you ran

and you tried to be right

and you tried to ignore the the fragile creature who shared your body.

You ran until your lungs screamed and your feet bled and your stomach upended itself.

And still you ran.

But one day, you came to a beach, to an ocean.

You could not go on

so you stopped.

And for the first time, your ears could hear something other than your blood rushing through your veins.

It was all too much,

so you knelt and you wept.

When you finally had no more tears, you began to walk,

to see if there was a way around this ocean, though you knew it was futile.

The breeze was cool and the sand soft,

little birds scattered among the gently breaking waves.

When you walked long enough you came to a woman. She was old. Timeless, the wrinkles on her face told you. 

She was beautiful.

You did not know what to do, so you sat down beside her and watched the world unfold in its lulling disorder. 

"I am wrong" you tell her. Something no one else has heard you say. She takes you in her arms and you breathe out the last of your belief. 

Now you are filled with doubt, 

but you cannot hate that anymore.

You fall asleep there, with that timeless woman.

When you wake, she is gone.

You do not know what to do, but you are not afraid.

You sit and watch the sun rise over the water.

You sit until you realize you may never be full. 

It doesn't hurt the way you thought it would. 

You rise, 

turn your back to the ocean, 

and walk into the world.

You see everything.

One day you meet her.

You talk until the sun sets and rises again.

You know you could talk to her forever.

So you stay, falling asleep under the spring leaves,

listening to the warmth of her heart and the longing cries of the peepers.