Sitting in a Hippie Bus Regretting Lost Things and Feeling Hopeful for the Future

I am sitting here by the fairy lights strung 

Through the interior of West’s bus

Listening to him sleep

Writing down everything that I want you to know

But don’t have the courage to send

She loved me 

During that winter as warm as summer

Her laughter ricocheting off the crystals in my head

And lighting up the places in me

That I had

Made up voices to fill

And she was not made up

I thought that I did not miss them

My voices

But they made me

For so long

To lose them was to lose myself

And she did not tell me

But taught me anyhow 

that I did not need

The meadow 

Or the forest 

Or to pull you to me with enthusiasm 

In hopes of another night of childhood 

Giggles at two a.m.

And when she left me the next winter

I had to unlearn

I had to relearn how to listen

And so what I want you to know

Is that you are where I come from

I hope that I have not become

Someone that you used to know