On God's God

When You told me You believed in god

I could not help but gawk at the thought.

In Your eyes, we are the will of our fates,

and I choose the word “fate” cautiously.

I do not think Your devotion is my destiny.

Yet, who am I to defy Your god's righteous bidding?

Who am I to defy Your allegiance to him?

One day, the birds were chirping for us.

You looked up dumbfounded but, in love,

similar to how You see right through me;

leaning into the comfort of Your religion.

Today, I am crippled by my existence,

and for aid, I seek You in a prayer.

My heart, once a devoted atheist,

now a believer waiting for a god to speak.

Sawyer Fell


18 years old

More by Sawyer Fell

  • Written Meals

    I do not know how to bake 
    something from scratch, 
    like my mother’s cookies. 
    With her instinctual precision 
    and her habitual familial ease. 
    I did not inherit this side of her.

  • On Being Vane

    Somewhere between a flower and a coffin
    lies the colorless sunrise outside your windows.
    I am devoted and still breathing like the Elin.
    You are innocent and still sleeping like the Pothos.

  • As She Pleases

    To be a woman
    is to be a banquet.
    Eclectic, savory, distinguished.
    A summer potluck of femininity;
    a Thanksgiving toast to masculinity;
    an Easter brunch with androgyny.