a letter to myself at the end of 2024

So many times you will see

someone on the street who you will never meet

again, and believe you could fall in love.

You will look back, and they will not be looking

at you.

A few times you will think

you could fall in love with someone

really,

until the staticky headlong rush

turns into a headache.

You know you can't possibly be 

unlovable,

but you will listen to that Smiths song

until it turns to ash in your ears. 

You will not

be without love. 

You will still 

fall

for a movie that will make you cry

until you forget to 

for your friends' laughter and their eyes 

when it's too sunny outside

for songs that run shivers down your still-twisted spine.

And you will become certain that someday

you will see someone on the street who you might meet

again.

When you look back,

they will be looking at you.