limerence

what can only be described as an unhealthy need for chaos

chaos that fills an emotional void

to be devoid of feeling is to loose your humanity

your identity

your self, and sense of self.

I lost it once, too.

I never did get it back

it came back in fragments

there are many different versions of me

they never work intersectionality

they flicker on and off like lights

no warnings or tell tale signs

one statement

one opinion 

that sparks the match

lights the path

the descent into madness 

I start screaming and crying

like a tall child wearing a trench coat

pockets filled with baggage

I have broken things

like clocks and pencils and toys

I have destroyed things

like drawings and bedsheets 

I have chaffed my own skin

been pricked and poked in the process of this madness

and when it ends?

back to nothingness.

TheDemiDevil

MD

16 years old

More by TheDemiDevil

  • picking up the pieces

    sarcastic jabs and quippy lines

    I hope you know I usually don't mean it

    and I know my best is not enough

    but that's what being human is all about

    I don't have to worry about perfection

    I will overcome compulsions

  • day dreamers

    like shifting shadows moving across walls and space

    I constantly reflect everything and everyone

    daydreamers like to envision a new world

    one where every cog in the machine does its job

    we get tired of being the mirror